Mother’s Day for Divorced Moms
Mother’s Day for Divorced MomsMay 4, 2015, ACES
Abraham Lincoln once said, “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” Arguably, being a mother is the most important job in existence. In order to manage the daily challenges of mothering a child with autism, married couples have a division of duties system that helps their family function on a predictable routine. For single moms raising a child with autism, no one is doing the dishes while she spends time with her child sorting his button collection on the floor.
Here are a few tips for divorced mothers in making the most of Mother’s Day.
Ideally you are you co-parenting to some extent with the child’s father. As hard as it may be to ask him to help, Mother’s Day is and should be a “treat yourself” kind of day. Think about what would make you feel nurtured right now. What kind of day would you like to have? Is there something specific you want to do with your child, or maybe just you? Today is your day to reward yourself in whatever form that may take - - just don’t let your happiness depend on what your child does or does not do for you. Go ahead and tell your ex what you would like on this day and ask him to help with your child.
Your child with autism needs your love. Showing it to him, even if he has difficulty showing it to you, is good for you both. Celebrate the true spirit of Mother’s Day by recognizing your amazing child for all that he is. Commit to the mindset that today your child’s gift to you may be as simple as catching a grin on his face out of the corner of your eye. The special bond and love between mother and child is unique. While your child may not be able to show it, that special relationship is there.
Your Child’s Father
It is healthy and important for your child’s father to play a part in Mother’s Day. Children with autism, just like all children, benefit from a dad that is active, loving and supportive of their mother. Ask him to get involved in helping your child demonstrate his love for you with a handmade card or letter. They get to spend time on cultivating a genuine connection with one another while also fostering the connection your child has to you.
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are opportune times of the year to strengthen bonds between parent and child. They are also platforms from which to build goodwill between you and your ex-spouse. Do your best to set differences aside at least these two days and work together to make it special for everyone. Remember, you are an awesome angel mother.